[1860]
Sunday – 8th
Jan.
January
It seems rather amusing to begin another letter seeing I only posted my last
yesterday! – but I don’t like to break the rule of writing to you every Sunday
morning. It’s hardly possible to make you understand how badly I want you on Sundays
– & many others time – & how nothing but the conviction that you never would
be happy with me & never were – & you perhaps are happy knocking about alone,
reconciles me to things as they are. – The Ziepels had the benefit of your news & Phos
photographs
that night – with which they were greatly delighted – & considerably
amused at your idea of your letters being “not interesting.” – he was much impressed
with the awful heat you must live in – indeed I, non-meteorological, hadn’t noticed
how very hot it must be – almost as bad as a permanent
Begert St. – I doubt if you will
ever stand it – if so you must come home & try Photography elsewhere. I see one
Photographer firm has likely sent a man out of to
Japan – so doubtless you
would have little difficulty on getting out somewhere else. – I don’t mind yours!
being dull – without society – & hard-worked – everybody in every portion must have something to bear: – but I mind very much any risk
of health. You must not do it. Don’t go on the water – it’s
by the sea they get yellow fever. – Your not having boils reflects that they have
disappeared & you being 2 lb fatter is a good thing. – I hope you will always
state clearly how you are in health: – but I can’t help feeling very anxious. –
Laura - Mrs Herford & Marian & Mr Marston will be the Sunday
collection today I think. – I wish I knew where to send for your parcel – for it has
never come. probably Mrs Lewis
is busy waiting for her mail. – Well I’ll not waste paper any more – having of course
no news. – Sunday morning Jan
January
15. – after a rather full & busy week. – I have been
ilrc at work over an Essay that you will find in the Feb.
February
Macmillan. so need say
no more about it. – Tuesday. I alas at tea at the Clock House to meet Laura’s brother William – schoolmaster from
Lancaster – rather a
nice individual. – there I heard that poor Mrs Ziepel that morning had got news
that her mother had been dead a week: the poor old lady died alone - all her children
away. – & nobody let the Ziepels know till all was over – not even that she was ill. Mrs Ziepel’s grief was some-
thing dreadful. – Wednesday I went with Gothic Cottage to a party at
the Englishwomen’s
Journal – & catch me going to another party anywhere! though it was
over at 10 P.M. Such a black hole of Calcutta I never knew. About 500 people crammed in two rooms.
– a few “strong-minded” – with waistcoats, cravats & short hair – but the general
lot one’s usual acquaintance. They invited 450.
Carry
having 450
“friends.” – Marian &
Laura Herford seemed
greatly amused – but for my part I couldn’t stand it & was thankful to get home.
– On Thursday I had Amy Paten
spending the day at Wildwood. She is visiting the Ferguses here – & Joe charged her to find me out – It is curious how people come back to
one, full of love & kindness – if one only has patience to wait. – Few things
have been more pleasant to me than Amy coming to me again – & pouring out all her troubles for these
10 years. – Her father married again – turned men all adrift & Joe took them in. – & Amy & Walter have lived with him ever
since. Also his brother-in-law Mr
Rosburgh failed – & his has kept them too. – So good & true as
he has turned out – such a faithful brother, such a loving husband & father – it
does one’s heart good to think of it. – They want me to come & spend part of the
summer with them at some quiet seaside place – & help in spoiling the baby: –
which probably I should – a trifle! – but I doubt if I shall go. There is another
baby coming in June – I suppose you can hardly understand the sort of feeling I have
towards Joe’s children. – Friday I
did an awful exploit – went with the Mudie’s to hear Samson It would have been nice – if I could have got you out of my head –
which I couldn’t: – it seemed so hard you could not enjoy it. – Sun’s Reeves Total eclipse was
exquisite – so was "Round about the Starry
thone" - & "Fixed."
– though my enjoyment of the latter was rather stopped by Mr Mudie whispering “Look at the
Queen.” – who was
such extraordinary individual, walking with a fierce resolution, & throwing him
back in the intervals of the “thunder's roar." – as if he felt the whole weight of
the chorus risked on the Queen – that I went into fits of laughing – inwardly. –
The last chorus was very fine. – also “Let
the Bright Seraphim” with Harpes obligate trumpet – Mudie’s keen enjoyment – honest
little man – was quite pleasant. They have gone regularly to Exeter Hall for about 30 years. He
has 20 tickets for every concert – which he distributes among friends – & clerks
– had 5 clerks there that night. – He said to me pointing to a bearded gentlemanly
young man who sat near with his wife & sister – “Did you ever see
him before? – He was my errand-boy in King St. – Honest Mudie – ah Ben you wronged him when you scouted
his attentions because he was a “fine” friend. – He does a world of good with both
his money & his influence – & they are as simple and kindly a family as can
be. I slept there – & went after breakfast to spend the day with Amy Paten at Brompton – coming home in time for
Minna who was here to
tea – also Mr Marston
& Nelly. – Mr Marston brought me Vol
Volume
1 of his novel complete – Minna stopped till 10.P.M. – When May took her safe home. I think I
enjoy Minna’s company more
than ever – she is so very much softened down, & less irritable – & so
extremely good & kind to me individually. She hardly ever gives me a sharp word.
– She wants badly to go to the next Exeter Hall – & as Mr Mudie had asked after her
particularly as “that pleasant young lady” when he had taken house for the Marstons – We agreed that I should go
the length of asking him for two out of the 20 tickets & we would do the Lobgesang & Dettingen – somehow: together. – I
feel somehow that it’s sore to tell you these things – considering your dull
evenings: but it’s only temporary – be patient & work away - & you may yet be
a prosperous man at home – with possibility of concerts & everything else. –
Everybody must have their uphill season before they can get to the top of the tree –
though yours has lasted a long, long time: – but I don’t think it will last for ever.
– I had a letter from Cousin
Lizzie lately where she says that a girl she knows, met another girl at
Limerick
Ireland – whose brother out
in Bahia – wrote home that they
had had “a very pleasant addition to their party – a Mr Ben Mulock – an exceedingly
agreeable young man!” – Who on earth is this brother – name I don’t know. – But you
see the world is so small – do what you will you can’t escape from “friends”. – It is
such a pouring wet Sunday that I can’t get to Church – so shall probably go in for a
chat with Marian till
dinner-time – & then go & see poor Mrs Ziepel &
petition them to tea if they will come. – You see I manage to
make Wildwood if not a
Reformatory – a “haven” as Mrs
Herford calls it – By the by, last Sunday’s collection was full –
Mrs Herford
Laura – Marian – Mr Marston & Harvey Smith. – Marian & Harvey shook hands & behaved
quite friendly – Poor Harvey
– he’s a nice nice fellow. – Carry is to be married next month – & then
Hatton-garden breaks up
& they think of living at Sydenham. – There was a tremendous hard “talk” all evening – a sort
of recapitulation of the late “squabble” – the subject "truth" has been squabbled
over on intervals ever since – Harvey said energetically when he left that “he had spent a glorious evening!” – I feel a priggish pleasure in these
Sunday Collections, which make a nice evening for so many “strays”. – also in the
thought that old maid as I am – & solitary as Wildwood is – it isn’t a dreary
house & every body seems glad to come to it. – Amy thought it such a pretty &
pleasant house – She wants to go to Rome & study modelling - that she may make herself independent –
but Joe is fierce & won’t hear
of it – She asked me which I thought was right & I said she was. – for Joe may
have a dozen children yet. & she would be much better and happier carving her own
living. – & she’s so clever that she could do it easily. – She wants me to go
with her to Rome next September
& writer there!! – but more than ever I decline the idea of going abroad. – Well
goodbye my dearest boy -
this has been a long Sunday letter. – I wonder if you ever think of me on your Sundays – or what you do all the day besides reading. –
Sunday - Jan
January
22. – After the wettest & wretchedest & soggiest of of weeks that
would almost have reconciled you to being hot. – Monday I
went to my little Prigs – & had tea at the Clock House
after a day’s work. – Tuesday the Ziepels came to stop here two days
in hope of making her a
little better after the great shock she had had: – Wednesday Frances & Jane & Annie Miers were here also. – &
Annie & I went to the
squabble at Vale Lodge. –
Mr Lovell wrote the
essay - as I was too busy to take my turn. It was on Good-natures – not particularly
good. – & only 14 squabblers – it being a fog that you might have cut with a
knife. – Rather lively games afterwards – & Mr Tomlinson came out as usual
nice. – He took Minna &
Marian next night to the
Kings College soirée.
2000 people - at which they were greatly amused. – I went back with Annie to Temple Lodge - where I
stayed mildly in pouring rain till Saturday morning. When I went to see Amy Paten at Kensington - we spent the evening
together & she made a very good sketch of me to take home with her. – I got home
to tea & Mrs Lovell
paid me a long call. – By the bye - lately that Excellent woman for the first time
opened upon me in the subject of you – speaking of you in a very affectionate &
laudatory manner – saying both she & Mr Lovell had the highest opinion
of you – & no possible objection to your marrying Minna
except your religion or
non-religion – which would always make it quite impossible. – I said you
held doctrines very much more like theirs than mine were – but that as Minna apparently did not love you
it was idle to discuss the subject & so I dropped it & spoke of something
else. – She & I were
alone & the conversation didn’t last 3 minutes. – She then went on to explain her
griefs – Minna’s excessive
reserve - &c - also Marian’s unitarian friends: – & mine. – the old thing, on which
she gets perfectly rabid, poor woman. Certainly the ancient Lovells are crochetty to the last degree
– but one can always manage them by the grand secret of all things – “letting things
alone”. – & I’ll bear anything for Min – who has so very little happiness in her life. – & bears the
want of it so bravely. – Today Clarence comes to dinner – and to discuss an offer of Mr Macmillan’s for his
making designs. – And tomorrow I go down to Cambridge for a week on business.
Mr Macmillan has
offered me to be their reader. – at a fixed salary. – & I shall be glad – for I
can’t write. – the small articles in Mac’s
mag.
magazine
have
cost me days of headache. – Yet I find to do nothing at all in regular daily work
would be equally impossible: idleness worries me as much as work. – So the Macmillan offer comes in
admirably – it will only be doing for pay what I do continually in amateur fashion
for nothing. – it will give me much influence – & be a settled increasing thing.
I like the Macmillans
very much – they agree in almost all Sister’s “crotchets”. – he conducts business on a
principle so liberal & chivalric it’s quite wonderful – & just like “John” – on “Christian
principles” – And strange to say – you might say – it
answers - his business grows yearly: will be very great by & by. – And I should
like to work with him. – In all I have seen of him – & I have seen a deal since
you left, having done much general business with him for
other people, as well as being concerned in the affairs of the
Mag
magazine
: – I have learned greatly to respect Mr Macmillan. – as indeed
everybody connected with him does – both in a business & private capacity – But
no more - I will tell you next Sunday how we have settled it. – Mr Marston’s Vol
Volume
1 - Marian likes as
much as I do. - it is
acally
actually
very good - & I’m sure Macmillan will have it. - I
sent him last week some writings of Bob
Paton's - which he was so delighted with that he made him an offer to
write a sea-story - which news I sent off to the Cottage - & they were so glad –
For poor Bob has come home
quite broken in health & fortunes & wholly dependent on Allan – with no chance of going
to sea again. – And how Allan is ever to marry I don’t see! – I don’t care what you say about
Allan’s being a
“perfect fool” – you did once – in the matter of marrying – he is the most generous
self-denying “fool” that ever was – And the quiet way he takes Bob’s getting all his praise as an
author, while he got little or none – is something
perfectly beautiful. – I declare his letter back, with the account of how happy the
news made them – & how Maggie “became a Niagara” as usual – made me nearly do the like. –
Macmillan has
also taken a child’s book of Georgie Craik’s – & she wrote me so delighted. – So I’ve had a
deal of pleasure this week in the “priggish” way in which I do take pleasure –
looking at it through other folk’s eyes. – Joe Mayall called when I was out
& took some music he had lent you & brought back some I had lent him – I was
sorry to miss him – but shall write when I come back from Cambridge. – Annie Dowie bids me inform you
particularly that she has turn sous – the loveliest
babies ever seen. – named Robert
Chambers & James
Evander – & she is so very happy with them & as proud as a
peacock. – In her letter she says “be sure and tell Ben.” – I got Carry Smith’s wedding cards
yesterday. – So the world gos
goes
goes on - you see. Well, never mind, your turn
will come by & by – work away & never fear. – I think with satisfaction that
its only 10 days to the mail. – Goodbye my dearest boy. – Sunday. 29. Janr
January
. – I came back from Cambridge last night – after a pleasant walk – with mornings of work:
first we settled our business at once & I buckled to. – Mr Macmillan gives me
£100
again – to rise if work rises. – & I am to go through
all their light M.S.J. – not mathematical of course! I am sure I can do it easily
& it will be a great comfort. He & I agree so well – both intellectually
& morally – that we shall work together capitally – I doubt not. – In all the
business we got this last week – we found I had metractody come to
the same decision they had without telling me beforehand: which was satisfactory on
both sides. We also settled the “child’s year-book”. – 12 child’s poems &c –
which I write & Clarence illustrates. A first-rate thing for Clarence to get into the
Macmillan connection – &
he is so pleased. – His designs are capital. W. J. Linton, who engraves, was
delighted with them. – Clarence will do:. – genius or no genius - you’ll see. - It was great
excitement Friday & Saturday – as Friday was giving the list of degrees. – &
a Scottish lad we knew was expected to be Senior Wrangler – which he was: beating the
second hallow – difference of marks being 9500 to 4700. – Poor lad
– he bore his honors so meekly & yet happily – seeming chiefly to feel how it
would delight “my four sisters” – & what a glory it would be to the High school at Aberdeen. – Yesterday the degrees were conferred – such a pretty
sight: & such lots of proud mothers & sisters parading about. To see the 2nd Wrangler with his sister on his was a perfect sight –
so beaming were they: it made me feel choky – indeed I own to have felt choky more or
less all day. I have never quite got out of the feeling which I had once so strongly
when you were at the London
University – & Demogorgon used to enlarge tofen
what you would do at Cambridge – But you never could
have stood the grinding – & health is the chief thing. –
Evening. – I could not finish: as I had to go to Church early it being communion
Sunday. – I have joined my “conventicle” in that also: – Mr Burns knows quite well how much I
differ in some points: but he told me he felt I was “a
Christian”– which was all he desired – & asked me to go. In the afternoon
Henry Fisk & the
Field family called. – Mr Field asked to see your Hampstead
Phos
Photographs
& admired them much – particularly the strawberry plants & the
Village. – Miss
Montgomery, Miss
Blythe, Laura: – Clarence
Marian. E. Coates & Mr Marston – ensued – &
now all having departed I settle to my letter before going to bed. – Clarence is so pleased about
the designs. – He is also trying for a £100 prize
– “Idylls of King” – Art – Mason.– Minna came & stayed an hour
& had lunch also. – We all go to Mr Marston’s birthday
tomorrow. – I have never got the parcel of Phos
Photographs
– after a few days I wrote Mr
Watson: he said he could only furnish us with Mrs Lears’s address. I wrote her –
but got no answer. – I have now got a person who knows Upper Clayton to find out if she is still
living there, & call at the house: – Which is the only plan I can think of, of
tracing the parcel – as you don’t mention the friend’s name – & your sentence
leaves it doubtful whether it would be left with said friend’s wife or Mr Lewis’s. – I have puzzled in vain –
it has vexed me considerably – not knowing how on earth to track the parcel. –
However the last enquiry may result in something. – I hope by next Sunday the mail
will be in: – for I am getting very anxious – one always imagines something will have
happened etiver
whides. – I have expected
Springfield today
– but he did not appear. – Nor did Fanny & Jane – who promised – they probably forgot all about it. – Now I am so
very tired that I must say goodnight & go to bed – God bless you my dearest boy. – Tuesday –
I break on my ordinary routine to say that last night Mrs Lewis sent me the Phos.
Photographs
which are lovely – especially the two Calzadas – the tunnel – & the
exquisite bit of bay with two trees standing up – on “middle distance” – the
distances altogether are wonderful – everything looks so exquisitely clear: they beat
even the best Hampstead
Phos.
Photographs
– What a pleasure they’ll be – when mounted. – I felt like to cry over them
last night. –
Sunday Feb
February
5th: – Your letter did not come last night – which was very disappointing –
as owing to the “dies non” – must wait till tomorrow for it. – I
try not to fidget but to hope it will bring good news. – The week has been placid as
usual. Monday Mr
Marston’s birthday – When he gave your health in a manner neat brief
& affectionate – so you were not forgotten. Minna – Marian & I – at dinner –
Afterwards Mrs James –
Miss Coates – Miss Herford – Clarence & the usual lot.
Charades &c. – Everything past as usual every time there ten years. – Minna, Laura, Carry & I came home in Chapman’s fly. – Annie Miers was here on Wednesday –
how she did delight in the Brazil
Phos
Photographs
! – Certainly they are wonderfully good – I seem quite to know every bit of
your entourage. – And the little black ghosts amused
as
us
so. – On the whole the sea views are most admired – & the telegraph
home with the wood inkind. – Joe Mayall was here & made
himself very agreeable from 7.40 to 9.20 one morning – telling me all his doings,
John’s & “Mr Mayall’s” in a
confedentiale
confidential
manner. I like him – He & John seem to be doing pretty well
– But he says they are going both to write you by this mail – so I will say no more.
Springfield also
wrote me a long letter – but as you will get one also, I won’t repeat his news
either. – Friday Minna
Marian
Miss Coates & I went
with the Mudies to Lobgesang &
Dettingen. – C. Novello. Sun's Reeves &c. – oh so lovely! – about the grandest
evening as to music I ever remember in Ex. Hall. – But I never feel happy there now, it always frets me so
extremely to think that you can’t get it – However you as well as other people must
strike the balance of evils. – I’d rather have you out there working bravely than
being wretched here – “return with your shield or return upon it.” – at 33 you’ll be
quite a young man still. I got a letter from Lizzie, yesterday. Tom has set up for himself
as an architect in Liverpool – Will is “as” to £120. – They seem all right & comfortable. – Clarence & Macmillan have settled
their matter – he is to illustrate my child’s book – which will come out by
midsummer. They like one another. & I hope it may be Clarence’s starting in earning
some money – poor boy! – he has had a hard time. – Mr Marston brought his novel
complete – for us to read – & actually correct! – which he takes mildly. – It is
exceedingly good & Macmillan is sure to have it. It is curious what a deal of good has
resulted from my instinctive liking to Mr Macmillan – & his
equally sudden liking to me. – One of those odd first sight instincts which are
perfectly unaccountable – yet which I trust more & more, the older I grow. – I
have done another week’s work as “reader” – & settled several people’s hashes –
oh
why will some people turn authors! – Maria Wright was married on
Thursday – to Mr Arundel
Spens – Bengal Arang” – and Wright wrote me af third affectionate epistle to come & be
bridesmaid! – Aunt Alicia
& I mean to go & see them some time – it will be funny – won’t it? – I hear
of William Wright often
from Annie Miers
Kensington friend – how
good his sermons are, & how he works in his parish. – Dear me – what a curious
thing life is. Minna &
Marian met Fortune
likewise – at Ernmer
Catherine’s party
the other day. – George Scibiler
always
benignly inquires for you, I believe. – But I must spend no more paper till my letter
comes in tomorrow. – Oh by the by I got a letter from Mr W. Vesper saying where should he
send you a cheque from Mrs
Gilks? – I said, to me: it will go down in your money which I keep. –
Tuesday Feb
February
7. – I can hardly say how great a relief & comfort was my letter of
yesterday morning. I was busy all day trying to get the things you wanted sent off by
this mail – for fear of failure next – & in the evening Spingfield came & stayed
till 10.30 – so I couldn’t write till now. – Well, to answer yours! – It is in every
way thoroughly satisfactory – especially the private one. You give me all the
information I want – my mind is greatly relieved concerning your health. You are
doing everything I like & being every thing I want you to be. – In the bedroom
–& closet you’re right – don’t stint yourself. – Any money you send out to me
just say what I’m to do with it – Funds – Bank deposit – shares or what – You know
you ought to be able to get at it with out loss from selling out: it isn't like mine
of where I only want the interest. My Phos
Photographs
are beautiful – they are put into Albert’s book – thy
e
only way of
preserving them as everybody asks to see them. – Mr Lovell has mounted Marian’s Phos
Photographs
very nicely – but he wished me to tell you that he thinks in the distant
views you don’t make the stereoscopic angle wide enough – so
as to throw them out
stereoscopicals
–
The near ones – banana leaves &c – he says are beautiful. – I don’t know if I
make this clear – he tried hard to make it clear to me –
& repeated literally several times what I was to say to you – but I forget the
precise words after all. He came in on Sunday & spent a long time over the large
Brazil prints. My 3 new
ones are the nicest yet – especially the one with the big hill & the sea. –
Mr Field was noticing over
the Hampstead ones
that you seemed to have such an artistic eye to seize the
best point of a view: he pointed out this & preached a deal about “balancing”
&c. – I should think the Bahia views would do first-rate – & sell here too: – only don’t
overwork yourself. – Yesterday, Mrs Aleck
Fry (Frank
Miers’ sister-in-law) whom in my despair of ever getting the Phos
Photographs
I asked to
call on Mrs Lewis – came &
told me a woeful tale of said Mrs
Lewis – she is so poor – nearly starving. Mr Lewis sent her no remembrance last
mail, but word that he had been dismissed at a month’s notice by Mr Watson. – Is it so? – Mrs Fry whose compassion was greatly
excited, came to ask me what I knew – which was nil. – I said you never mentioned
Mr Lewis. The wife – an Station
lady, owns that tho’ very clever he is a great spendthrift. – Mrs Fry wanted to write to her husband at Rio to help him, but I persuaded
her not – till we knew more: she had much better help the wife: which she will. – Now just tell
me in your next – confidentially – what you think of Lewis – is he an honest man or not – & why was he dismissed? –
Until then the matter rests: for I have made Mrs Fry see that it won’t do to bother
her husband about an
unworthy or doubtful character: & I’m sure Mr Watson would not have dismissed
him for nothing – He took him out of charity, on the recommendation of some ladies
whom Mrs Fry knows. – Springfield is very
culing & down: – but means to screw up his courage &
settle something today with Easton &
Amos – I’ll tell you the last thing – but space & paper is valuable.
I am very well, thank you, my dearest boy – eyes quite well, so much business I can
but just get through it – and as you will see, very little solitude: not enough to do
me the least harm. – I enclose Marian’s note which she brought in before starting on a 3 day’s visit
in town. Minna read your
public letter – & as she said there was not much about yourself in it – I told
her a few things about your good health & so on which you say in the private
letter – which however of course I keep entirely to myself. – Indeed nobody has read
even your public letters but Minna & Marian & the
Aunts: – Oh yes – Annie does – & delights in them exceedingly. She begged me to tell
you how much she enjoyed them & the Phos.
Photographs
– It’s quite pathetic to see how she hangs over the Brazilian views which
belonged to the days of her childhood. She comes tomorrow till Friday – when she
starts on off to Bath, &
thence to Detmore - for a
month's absence between my mails. – Somebody observed satisfiably that “all Dinah’s proceedings were – regulated by
males” – which you will of course appreciate. Do you
make jokes as ever? I’m glad of Wilson turning up – how funny it
must seem to talk over Liverpool! – Fanny
Martin sends you this introduction: if you like to use it. Mr Nicolay might be a pleasant
acquaintance. – Remember you are now in a position that even you needn’t be “proud”
about making friends. – Fanny hesitated as to whether you would like the introduction from her
– but I said I was sure you would: – so send her a friendly message back – as she had
Jane take a most kindly
interest in all your concerns. Curtiss, Hannah, Frances & Jane called on Sunday, he is well again. – Jane was fierce against him to me
in private: says he is selfish to the core – he grieves Fanny unutterably. – Oh how much
have I to be thankful for that you never never so grieved me! –
Tuesday night - I think now your “wants” are “all supplied.” – Mr Macmillan’s nephew who has got me the
books – Portuguese - Pho.
Photograph
Journal – Cornhill –
Macmillan &
All Year Round –
writes that they will be at Francis’s tonight – Also possibly some cheap
mes.
Mr Watson says an employ’e
will take out everything else – so your umbrella & 3 knives,
chirm by Springfield – go to 47 Parliament St
tomorrow, I said, the employ’e may open umbrella & use
knives which will save duty. – Your cardboard mounts I also ordered Francis to put in his parcel, &
send bill to me. – He directs “Mr D. Mulock” – & Mr
Watson “Mrs Mulock” – so they must have rather dim ideas
about me! – I think, between the Francis packets, & the Employ’e – everything you named will go to you by this mail. – It has been most
creditably managed I assure you! Fanny & Jane were here to tea & wished to hear some of your letter &
sent kind remembrance. They urged upon me to make a white cover for the umbrella! –
but there’s no time. & possibly you would not use it. They say, you need not fear
Nicolay: being a fine friend – he is a broken ruined man – with about 15
small children now in England. – You can’t object to his acquaintance. Wednesday. Now to end.
Springfield sent
umbrella – 13.0 – & maker says, will you should have white cover over it. I’d make it,
but no time. Knives G.S says have only 2 blades 3 bladed knives being so small. 31 each – Mappins. – G.S had not time to write – but
E. & A. are
considering the £200. – & also hint at
partnership or business – Mr
Watson has put his name down for possible
employment. – I hope you will get you things all right. – Min has just been here & waits
to go with me to the post. She speaks very affectionately of you – & takes an
interest in all belonging to you – but insists that it is only sisterly. – & that
in your heart you have only a brotherly affection for her - & not the love that a
man should have for his wife. God knows! – I don’t say a word one way or other. – You
must just work your way like a brave man – quite
independent of anything – & you will find your reward in God’s good time if He
pleases. – I can’t say any more than that. – I am so glad you enjoyed your new year’s letter – It ought
to be a comfort to you how very happy your letters make Sister. – I think I told you I was quite well.
Mary is turning out a
very good servant – & her baby thrives & it & Christopher are on the most
friendly terms. – I hope at the three years end you will be back at Wildwood – Now if you order
Mr Watson to pay me, say at
the same time what I shall do with the money – whether you would like it sunk, or put
where you can get at it. – or if I shall invest it in your name & my own. I did
think of asking Mr Miers what
he would think a safe Brazilian investment – I know he has a deal of money invested
there – for he was recommending me once, as getting larger interest. – now my dearest boy – God bless
you – & go on well & prosperous & don’t have “ghosts” or be afraid of
anything – I send 3 “Times”. –
Mr Tomlinson read it – The
Squabble afterwards was very amusing & instructive. – Then half the company went
up to the wee parlour – where Annie fed them on as much tea coffee cake & bread & butter as
ever they could eat – It being “tea & turn-out” – like the Forcano parties – or
as Mrs Ziepel put it –
“people to have their tea before they come & miss supper after they get home.” –
The tea succeeded admirably – the only failure being the “turn-out” – for everybody
declined to go – & settled calmly down to games & chat till after eleven –
& with great difficulty were “turned out” then. It was universally owned to be
the most brilliant squabble yet – & Annie & I were quite proud. She stayed over next day – When I had
a tea-party of the Burns –
Alison & Minna & Marian – also successful. – Today she left – to write her letters for
the mail. – I have sent off your parcel for Mr Sydney Boor – containing Times – Lloyd’s –
Cornhill – Macmillan – All Year Round – & its
Xmas No – Poems – (Marian’s copy as I couldn’t get another in time) & your aunts letters – Detmore letters Mr Boor brings separate, as they came
too late for the parcel – Letters all opened – as otherwise there is a penalty of
£20 – but I have read none of them. – Mr Boor only offered to take a small
parcel – so I thought “something to read” was the best thing to fill it up with. I
wanted to send a plum-pudding – but Annie with her usual wisdom suggested that it mightn’t agree with you!
– & that there were many other things you might like better – so I compromised
with a bit of holly & ivy – which I hope will make you feel cool & Xmas-like. – Everybody sends
you kind messages – & today there has been several callers & applications to
hear what you say in your letter. – Poor Jane Benson seemed to envy me the
comfort I have in you – as well she might confined with Curtiss. – I wrote a line to
John Miers at Rio – about Springfield – who was very
anxious I should – He knows the firm – they are customers of Easton & Amos. – Probably
Springfield will
write you – I am so glad you have written to him – Papa says he has sent you some Times – you will have a good
handfull
handful
of literature by this mail –
Your Aunt Eliza’s new years gift to you –
£1 – I keep till you say what you would like
bought with it. – Now to answer your General letter. – Never mind how photographic
they are – it’s all interesting – You have no idea how extremely interesting you make
your letters – whatever they are about. – I’m glad you don’t work on Sundays. I’m
afraid you want badly a little “cheerful society” – even Miss Blythe might not be unwelcome
now!! – Morris you had not named
before – I am glad there’s one nice fellow in the lot – It’s a “curious &
remarkable fact” that you always take to the nice respectable people! – & they to
you. – Annie was saying
today when your Detmore
letters came – “What a number of good women seem to be fond
of Ben.” – & that it was
the best secondary evidence of your being good yourself. – She was so delighted with
the Phos
Photographs
– the little ones – which really are exquisite – so clear & perfect. –
I am looking forward to the parcel from Mrs Lewis – which has not been heard of yet. – Your picture of the
“Coast of Africa” is fearful! – & I’m afraid the heat tries you very much
– & shall be very anxious for the next mail. I hope you take every store against
sun-strokes – that’s the dreadful thing, especially with your habit of running out
bareheaded – What sort of hat do you wear? – Be sure to say exactly how you have been
in health – through the month. I hope the excursion with Mr Ogilvie will have done you no
harms – tho’ it is so hot – There’s always the dreadful feeling of suspicion between
mail & mail – but one must make up one’s mind to it. – Annie had good news from her people
at Rio – her younger
brother Frank with his
wife & family are coming home by the April or May mail – you must try &
manage to run on board & see them if for only ten minutes – that they may bring
me word they have seen you. – If either John or Frank
Miers are in Bahia they say they shall hunt you out & go & see you – &
they sent you by last mail
a warm invitation to go to them at Rio, if you ever had a chance of visiting the place. – I’m afraid
you’ll find you have to give up your “Miller of Dee” character –
& respond to the general kindliness of the world towards you. – I must now end;
it being very late & I very tired. – Goodnight, my dearest boy – I’m grieved to have vexed
you so – indeed I did not mean it – you quite mistook nearly all I said – but we
won’t waste paper any more. – People ought to be careful of the least approach to
“scolding” at the distance of a month & some thousand miles. – it will be a
warning to me henceforth. Saturday – 7th
Jan
January
– I’ve just been in to fetch & re-read your letter to Marian. They were delighted with the Phos
Photographs
– which indeed are lovely – & give a complete idea of your
surroundings. – I hardly know which I like best – except perhaps the well-house, the
coco-nut palm – the Calcada – & the railway
cutting. – What beautiful vegetation – There must be many nice
things about Bahia – if it were
not so awfully hot & so dull – but you may get to know more people &
hiser by & by – I suppose Curtiss has put the Nicolay’s out of Fanny’s head – as she has not
sent me the introduction & I can’t
teaze
tease
her about it now – or possibly they have left Bahia. – What about the Emperor? We
heard he paid a visit to your line – & I thought of your black clothes! for you
would probably be among the officials who had to receive him – Tell all about it in
your next & whether he asked you to dinner & sat for his Pho
Photograph
! – I believe he is a very nice intelligent young man – & particularly
fond of English people. How lovely the fireflies must be. – But the “feeding” can’t
be very nice with bread bad & milk nowhere – & indefinite tea. – Ah Ben. I know well you must have lots
of annoyances – but you didn’t go for pleasure – so keep up & make the best of
things. – Write me all your troubles: & always let me have a private letter – it
is but fair & right. – Miss
Coates is much pleased that her case is so effective. Marian bids me say she will write
you a good long letter by next mail. – I will keep my letter open till the last
minute to see if the parcel comes – but it has not as yet – so in my case I can only
acknowledge it & defer criticism till Sunday. – It’s a great pleasure having nice Phos
Photographs
. – The portrait of you among Bananas is rather grim – but still not bad. –
Send a large
portrait, the first you take – that we may see if you are altered. The delicacy of
these prints is wonderful – such as the distance in the view across the bay & in
the well-house one – but the trees seem to stir dreadfully. – No 11 with your house at the corner I like very much, though less than No 12. – What an awful “civilized” place though. – I’m
afraid you’re out of the frying-pan into the fire: – except for the sea. Do you ever
bathe? No sharks I hope. – I suppose you get baths in plenty of fresh water at the
well-house – but salt water might be better. – I shall just leave this bit on the
chance of the parcel: otherwise I have said I think all that is to be said. –
Afternoon – So now I must seal & post my letter – with the parcel never come, but
doubtless will – I have put my P.S. outside – that you may
not miss Mr Sydney Boor. – &
I hope the parcel by then will reach you safe – You will find the arnica plaster in
the Aunts’ letter. – –
Here I was interrupted by the apparition of Dr & Mrs Storrar – who you may remember
as belonging to the Marstons
parties of long ago: friends of Mrs
Crowe. – They also are come to live at Hampstead. – The Pond St
railway is open: a big station & grand. Annie went home by it. It is so
convenient for Richmond that
Fanny & Jane are likely permanently to
settle near– – Today is lovely but very sharp & frosty – I wish I could send you
a bit of cold weather – & yet you mightn’t like it if you had it. – I have fallen
into work again of a mild fever – extracts for Macmillan – & a book of
children’s poetry – which will probably go to Macmillan also. – &
which I want Clarence to
illustrate. Clarence
returns to London on Monday
next – He said he was going to write you by this mail – but I think he has been busy
& put it off till next. – I got a Xmas letter from Lizzie – she is better – but
hint has had me of her bad attacks of spasms – ill 3 weeks. –
The rest well. – I have seen nothing of Harvey Smith – nor have the
Blythes. You are constantly talked about & ask after by Hampstead generally – &
everybody takes an interest in the news of you. You are decidedly a Hero in a small
way to Hampstead. – if
that’s any satisfaction to you– – God bless you – my dearest boy – I can’t say any more –
Ever your affectionate
Sister
